Living Without Fear in 2018

The end of 2017 is here, and I imagine there are many of us who are pleased to say farewell to the year. While I had many moments of personal triumphs, some days, it was hard to exist as a woman of color in Trump’s America. Nevertheless, I persisted. Nevertheless, we persisted.

As a society, we were challenged by this year—at times, vexed, angered, exhausted, overwhelmed. But we were also determined, committed, disciplined, hopeful, and driven, and that’s got to count for something.

I’ve been seeing so many resolutions for 2018 and, perhaps it’s just me, but they seem to be much more thoughtful than I’ve seen in years past. Resolutions to be kinder, to live more meaningfully, to be patient, and one I’ve seen again and again is to live without fear.

As someone living with anxiety, living a life without fear simply isn’t possible for me. But I do think I often let fear hold me back from pursuing things I’m interested in. I’ve gotten better about that in recent years and, as I get ready to look 30 in its face, I’d like to try to adopt a modified version of that motto for 2018: live with less fear. It doesn’t sound as pretty, but it feels more achievable for me, so I’ll try to embrace it.

I spent 2017 trying to live a life I could look back on and be proud of, and I think I mostly achieved that. I traveled. I went on adventures. I laughed. I cried. I persevered. I took leaps of faith. I challenged myself. I tried new things. I said goodbye to things I loved. I said hello to things that scared me. I loved. If I can do all of that again in 2018, it will be a good year.

Here’s to some of the lovely (and not-so-lovely) things I experienced in 2017*…

*some of the captions below may not make sense because they’re part of old posts, but just roll with it!

Spent time with these doggies (Reilly, Lexi, and Tiny and Cody, who are not pictured)

Fun at the Portland Museum of Art

Visited the Broad

Went to Rupaul’s DragCon

Met my fave queen, Trixie Mattel

Ventured to Griffith Observatory

Explored Sunset

Enjoyed a meal at Pie Hole in LA

Sprouted angel wings

Visited Disneyland for the first time

Watched the sun set at Montaña de Oro

Made a pitstop in Endor

(Its name is General Sherman)

Birthdays call for beer.

Saltwater Vineyard in Stonington, Conn., was stunning.

Plus we got a float for Obi so he could enjoy it, too!

At the Florence Griswold Museum

Kind of obsessed with this giant chair (which, sadly, I didn’t buy)

These are all of the wonderful, sentimental, beautiful things my friends and coworkers gave me on my last day of work. Such an amazing group of people!

At the Forest Park Zoo with my new friends

Taylor Brooke Winery, one of our favorites. I highly recommend raspberry rendezvous!

Celebrating Independence Day with some sparklers 🙂

Bridge of Flowers in Shelburne Falls, MA

Mass MoCA was up next. The exhibits were breathtaking.

MASS MoCA

On my last day of work, my friends through me a going away party! This DELICIOUS cake was made by my friend Kerry.

With the warm weather, my husband and I ventured to Hammonasset Beach

Hammonasset Beach

And reading books and poetry (I became obsessed with Rupi Kaur)…

It was SO nice to have Ladies Night with my friends from my old job. I miss them terribly!

My husband and I went to another drag show on July 13

War on the Catwalk: Sasha Velour

Snuggles with my child 😛

At my new job, enjoying a sea salt caramel macaron

In New London at Muddy Waters Cafe

And some beautiful views

We loved our weekend getaway to the CT shoreline with Obi!

The greatest gift I’ve ever been given: an autographed photo from Mama Ru

Trixie Mattel

The Wrecking Club

I MEAN… IT’S PEPPERMINT!

Every day on my way to and from work, I drive by a small hill. Cars are sometimes parked at the bottom of it and I kept wondering why. Today, I decided to see for myself.